Collection Plate Ponderer T-Shirts

'It comes to something when the state of the pound is such that we HOPE to find lots of foreign coins!'

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

"I've learned a lot in sixty-three years. But, unfortunately, almost all of it is about aluminum."

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

"Enough helium makes laughing gas."

Crayo-Blah

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

"And remember, we're a multi-denominational church - we accept fiver, tenner, euros, dollars. . ."

"Van Gogh has always been associated with the colour yellow. In your case I think the colour is mediochre!"

'Sorry, Steve, but we're trading you to France for two impressionists and a dadaist to be named later.'

Mailwoman looks at mailboxes marked Mail - Spam.

'All these heads are kind of gross aren't they? What if we collected pottery or something?'

"The universe will either continue expanding at its present rate, expand at a slower rate, or begin to contract. None of this, however, can explain why it sometimes takes four days to get a letter from Chicago."

'Just to clarify IOU's do not qualify as a tithe!'

"Did you make an appointment?"

'Boy, they don't miss a thing, do they?'

"Hmmmmm ... I don't see you on our 'friends' list ... "

"Ed! Help me with this puzzle. I can’t get any pieces to fit." "Put on your glasses, Louise. These are corn chips."

"So what's his story?"

"Do we really have to use these plates?"

"Kids Menu Square"

"An elephant is like a brush."

Drinks vending machine: Tea, Coffee, No idea what this is, Urgh, and Best not.

"I don't know how we're going to work this. According to your psychiatrist's evaluation you have multiple personalities, two of which are okay to enter. But the other three..."

'Psst! Wanna buy some people food?'

'What - No lift?!'