Collection Plate Aficionado T-Shirts

"And remember, we're a multi-denominational church - we accept fiver, tenner, euros, dollars. . ."

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

"Please don't kill me."

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Doulton Canada Geese

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

Farmed Salmon Restaurant - Everyone squashed together.

I need a ten-letter word for a collector of inexpensive sports memorabilia. A "baublehead."

'I got you three new autographs in the prison yard today... an NFL and NBA player, plus a movie star!'

'It's not a doll. It's an action figure.'

Olympic Torch.

"Do you have anything new. . ?"

'This is the jewel in my collection. My invisible man figurine!'

Antiques: I'm not just another crock!

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

An upside-down cruise liner in a bottle.

'It will take me less time to eat that than it took you to explain it.'

'Alright, gentlemen, let's make a stamp deal.'

'Just to clarify IOU's do not qualify as a tithe!'

'Amazing! An entire book collection of nothing but volume 1 of encyclopedias given away free at as introductory offers.'

'Boy, they don't miss a thing, do they?'

'It comes to something when the state of the pound is such that we HOPE to find lots of foreign coins!'

"Don't keep me in suspense, Michael - what did they give you, a gold watch or a cheque?"

'I know it's slow tonight, but surely you can find something to do more useful than learning to spin plates?'

"Do we really have to use these plates?"

"I will not buy a fridge magnet. . ."

Lost Glove: couple walk by a railing on which sits a six-fingered glove.

'Eveyone get a Bobblehead Night, except me...'

'OH MY GOSH...IT'S A MIRACLE!!!' he's actually clearing his plate!'

'Now you listen to me, Barrows, we have a contingent from the 'dramatic and destructive Greek restaurateur society' coming here today... Make sure nothing goes wrong.'

Stamp Collecting

At the Cartoonists' Cash 'N' Carry...

Robert Redford (Just Kidding!).