Classic Collection Aficionado T-Shirts

"Do you have anything new. . ?"

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

Second hand furniture.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Alice in Wonderland - Painting the Rose Tree.

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

Goddess

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

Virginia could tolerate the Woolf whistles no longer

Ancient Egyptian treasures 3000-900 BC Medieval paintings and sculpture 950-1500 New-in-box Star Wars action figures 1977-1985

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Martin Scorsese Roasts Your Fandom

'What really annoys me is that they're not even my demons - they're Goya's and Hieronymus Bosch's and Brueghel's.'

Egyptian Mummy/Egyptian Mummy and Toddler.

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

Doulton Canada Geese

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

The definitive turning point in The Great Terrier-Squirrel War was the now-famous Trojan Acorn Maneuver.

"At the Christmas Artifacts Museum"

Unknown moments in art history. Manet? This is Monet --- I got some of your mail again.

Grandfather Clock

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

The Blings - collectors of jewelry.

Johannes Gutenberg

A new meaning in the Roman

Capt. Ahab's landlocked brother Morab, searching for the white elephant.

Restored antique carriage in A.D. 2500

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

Apple falls - ancient Greek envisions right angle.