Collectibles Enthusiast T-Shirts

End of career sale.

"On the exchange markets today, the dollar lost ground against all major collectibles."

Antique oriental carpets.

Trench Art Sale

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

Trump Poutine

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

The Gladiator.

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

Keep on Truckin.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"It makes you look old."

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

Doulton Canada Geese

'I'm full of stuffing so I'll have the potatoes.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

Tourist and Butterfly and Goat

Barry gradually realised that buying a small car had its disadvantages

"Any duck that thinks that decoy looks like a duck,swims like a duck and sounds like a duck, deserves to be shot!"

They're souvenir magnets from all the places we've done battle.

"No not the puppy please"

Guy on island sees giant ship in bottle.

'What is it, Gassy? Is Timmy in trouble?'

"I used to be a veterinarian."

'Arnold, blow the whole depot, then hightail it out of here.'

Casting out the Shoe Devil.