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'The Dollar and the Deutschmark opened weak today, but the Pokemon card remained steady.'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

Trump Poutine

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

The Gladiator.

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Keep on Truckin.

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

'I'm full of stuffing so I'll have the potatoes.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Doulton Canada Geese

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

Barry gradually realised that buying a small car had its disadvantages

Tourist and Butterfly and Goat

"Any duck that thinks that decoy looks like a duck,swims like a duck and sounds like a duck, deserves to be shot!"

Over-reaction Man.

"I used to be a veterinarian."

"No not the puppy please"

Guy on island sees giant ship in bottle.

Newest items from the cooler image

Casting out the Shoe Devil.

'Arnold, blow the whole depot, then hightail it out of here.'

'I tell ya Frank, if we find one of these babies big enough, we could live forever!'