Collecting Ties Pillows

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

In reply to a compliment about his huge tie, a young man explains that he gives the whole of his mind to it

'You'll never lose this tie mom and I got for you this Father's Day because it glows in the dark!'

"Maybe you should go home and get some rest. That's the third time today you'e notarized your tie."

"1-1"

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

"Pssst. Designer drugs...hallucinogenics...would go great with your tie."

'I got it for Father's Day.'

'Pushing the boat out a bit today, aren't you, guv'nor?'

'Throw it out? It's worth more! That's $27 worth of wine spilled onto a $12 tie.'

'I'm afraid your power tie has made you sterile.'

'The great thing about polka dots is that one more dot won't hurt.'

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

Cricket widow's revenge

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

"We can't lose. I got Dad's lucky tie out of his closet."

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

Cat Tie

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Larry's used art

Skipping Horse

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Grace For Flies

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

International Women's Day

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Packaging Russian Dolls

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Director/Action Man toy.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'