Collecting Magic Items Pillows

'Right, right, you get 3 wishes. Listen, you try being submerged in a $5 merlot for 4 years and see how good your memory is.'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

"Frankly, Jackie Paper, I’ve done all I can with strings and sealing wax."

Soldiers' Ego

Sailing enthusiast brings his hobby to his office.

Knight school.

Yeah, that's mine - My mom puts my name inside my helmet in case it comes off.

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."

Coffee-Rex: Even more irritable than a Tea-Rex.

Watering can helmet.

Love Potion

Pianist.

'I've seen this kind of thing before. In Vegas, I believe.'

"Darn paparazzi."

And when you give up using this to exercise, with the option keyboard it easily converts into a harpsichord!

Good Luck

Uh oh. What if someone on the flight wears their unlucky underwear?!

'Go on then.....Rule!'

'Am I bald?'

Have a nice downward spiral.

'No kidding? You're the bluebird of mutually assured destruction deterrants?'

Common Dodo!

Reject shop: God bowl.

Which Cup? 'Me' or 'Real Me'?

"Al's a little careless, but he is our best salesman."

"I hate a sarcastic cup of coffee."

"We can't be the only three."

Gladstone's Retirement

'Greetings 2000' Santa passing out gasmasks as presents to children

'You know this is my first battle.' - 'Really? Mine too.'