Magic Wand Collector Pillows

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

The magic wand that Merlin bought on E-Bay turned out to be a chop stick.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Punt Cake

Mixed Doubles.

Jack in the box on strike.

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

"Frankly, Jackie Paper, I’ve done all I can with strings and sealing wax."

The concert was going smoothly until Frankenstein's band played a ballad.

Relaxing in front of a fire.

"Hoarder."

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

'Okay,stay close, and stay alert! Looks like we're heading into BIG CAT COUNTRY!'

Emma Watson

Love Potion

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT light his candle."

"'Can correctly complete a CAPTCHA image 8 our of 10 times.' Any other skills?"

'I've seen this kind of thing before. In Vegas, I believe.'

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

'Yeah...all the good bottles were taken.'

"In a Universe Light Years Away...Almost, son, but remember you have to light up all the people for your wish to come true."

Bullets Bulls in the form of Bullets

Money Snowglobe

Giraffe's Ice-cream.

Candlelight

Hissy-fits for sale.

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

"This is your final wish. Are you sure you want another roll of toilet paper?"

'Hey, wait a minute †you're not a dolphin!'

The Diet Fairy is here to grant you three dishes. . . as long as they're under 350 calories each.

'Am I bald?'

"Together we are superspreaders of light!"

'What is wrong with you, Covington? Larson's sales territory is twice the size of yours, and yet she managed to find the time to learn how to palm a basketball!'