Wand Collector Pillows

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Punt Cake

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Cow's straw

Silly wig.

A watch face with Stonehenge

A man taking a bow

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

The concert was going smoothly until Frankenstein's band played a ballad.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Relaxing in front of a fire.

Lady in a pretty dress

"Hoarder."

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

Do you like my bling?

Utility Chic.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."