Wand Collector T-Shirts

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

Punt Cake

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Cow's straw

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Silly wig.

A watch face with Stonehenge

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

A man taking a bow

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Lady in a pretty dress

The concert was going smoothly until Frankenstein's band played a ballad.

Relaxing in front of a fire.

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"Hoarder."

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

Utility Chic.

Do you like my bling?

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.