String Collector Pillows

"People are O.K., but I prefer little pieces of string."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Jazz is Invented

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

Six jazz instruments.

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Music & Gym'

Utility Chic.

Gramaphone Man.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I wonder what this was for."

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."