String Collector Prints

"People are O.K., but I prefer little pieces of string."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Jazz is Invented

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Six jazz instruments.

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

"What are you doing?"

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

'Music & Gym'

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

Utility Chic.

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

Robert Drake

Gramaphone Man.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I wonder what this was for."