Collecting Corkscrews Gifts

Dentist with a corkscrew.

Corkscrew

"I don't mind that it is a mixed marriage, but I hear the groom has a drinking problem."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'A cheeky red?'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

The Tectonics and Their Plates.

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

true love.

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

Red Wine

Hand Sanitiser on the Bar

The Stages of Wine

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'A nutcracker? Admit it, Fred, you're getting old.'

He started with the q-tips, then moved on to the hard stuff.

Long Corkscrew

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

Wino Appreciation Group

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'