Cold-weather Investor Gifts

Investments: Hot Stocks For Clod Times.

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

Snow flake

It's supposed to get cold tonight.

"Bless You."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

Electric Blanket.

Rude Snowpeople

'Mom, what setting do you use for warming up slippers?'

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

Rent a Room With Hot Water

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"Fish needs bigger hole."

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

'Hours out here in the freezing cold and not a deer in sight! That's it - I'm going home!'

Trawling for Fish.

Cold Enough to Freeze Brass Monkeys.

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"Mum? are you sure thers's such thing as global warming, coz I'm bloody freezing."

"Let's face it, if we were getting any customers they'd have been here by now."

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

Death skis towards a man fishing on cracking ice

Man looking at his shower-bath on a cold morning

"It's a midriff warmer."

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"

'...and the temperature is controlled by a thermostat which keeps it at a controlled zero year round.'

'The temperature isn't too bad at -15, but when you add on the wind chill factor... '

Outdoor Dining: Winter Edition

"My f-f-feet are f-f-frozen."

'Now there goes a good Salesman...!'