Cold Weather Comedians Gifts

The stages of winter

'LLLLLeave me alone. . . It's so cold! It's so cold! It's so cold!'

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

'I think maybe they should move opening day until it's warmer.'

Uninhabital USA.

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

"CCCOOOLD!"

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'YOU are fed up with it . . . How do you think I feel?'

"How come we never have 'Baked Alaska'?"

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

The Month of August

'Good lord, Mrs. Frost, how long has he been running a fever?!'

Weather today.

'Be fair, George - how do you expect me to find your contact lens in this lot?'

Greco-polar wrestling

'I see a lot of that at this time of year...you've got a nasty case of cabin fever!'

"Normally, applying heat would be the correct therapy, however..."

'Where is the global warming when you want it?'

'What's Iggy doing home from school at this time of day?'

Need to turn up heat(fish crowd heater in aquirium).

"...heat escapes through your head. Lose the hat and you might make it through April"

"Nothing like a snow zombie."

Eskimo Breaking Wind

"Didn't I say to just sprinkle salt on it!"

A snowman executes another, but not in the fashion originally planned.

"The water feature doubles as a plunge pool."

"Put on a top hat and scarf. You'll freeze your carrot off!"

'I'd take that with a pinch of salt if I thought the council could spare any.'

"If global warming is real, then why are winters so cold?"

'What do you mean, you want rollerblades?'

Deep Snow All Around

"It's an ice scraper. I sweat a lot."