Cold Season Connoisseur Gifts

'What's an OFF season?'

Snow flake

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

It's supposed to get cold tonight.

Electric Blanket.

Fall on a desert island

"How can you expect anyone else to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself?"

'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'

'The Easter Bunny has started outsourcing to us.'

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

A tree cries its leaves off like tears

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

People of the Fall

One tree in the four seasons of the year.

'Have you heard the news about Susan in logistics?...'

"Mum? are you sure thers's such thing as global warming, coz I'm bloody freezing."

Cold Enough to Freeze Brass Monkeys.

"Oh, how I love the change of seasons! From cold and flu to spring allergies!"

"My f-f-feet are f-f-frozen."

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"

Outdoor Dining: Winter Edition

'Honey, I'm looking fat in white!' 'Trust me, dear. In a few months, the pounds will be melting away.'

4 seasons globe

"The nice thing about school is it makes you appreciate summer more."

I hate the spring ritual of not being able to wear a bulky sweater to cover the weight I've gained during the winter.

"Whale meat again – don't know where, don't know when..."

"No. Have to say we don't get many tourists around here!"

"It's nine degrees, but with the wind chill it feels like minus two hundred seventeen."

Brighton boatman offering the hire of a pleasure boat on a very cold day

"This is the time of year I begin to crave the first Robin of spring."

'Oh look, Harold! It's the first Robin of spring!'

"I surprise you every year!"

The corner that Spring's around