Cold Cut Enthusiast Gifts

Ivan's lunch hour would be an extended one.

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

"Can you give me a haircut that says, 'If you mess with my budget I'll rip out your soul, wring it like a dish towel, and drink it from a teacup'?"

This Halloween, use props to create a unique jack-o-lanern. Fitness buffs might like a jumping jack. Or you could carve a lumberjack. In colder climates, Jack Frost might be a nice choice. And for something functional, build a jack!

Sheep are sheared and then shown a mirror.

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

'Careful. The plates are extremely cold.'

'Have you heard the news about Susan in logistics?...'

"Let's change things up a bit. Give me the crinkle cut."

Man cold-calling on phone from igloo

Boxer's Hair Styles.

Recruit Depot - Barber. That barber is fast! He knows a short-cut!

'...and the temperature is controlled by a thermostat which keeps it at a controlled zero year round.'

"And unlimited freezer space, naturally..."

"Haircuts...cast out evil thoughts..."

'My dad cut it. My mother repaired it. Now, I'm looking for some professional maintainance.'

'The temperature isn't too bad at -15, but when you add on the wind chill factor... '

'Just the usual, thanks.'

'Honey, I'm looking fat in white!' 'Trust me, dear. In a few months, the pounds will be melting away.'

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

Child cutting her brother's hair

Igloo Building.

'Yes, we could use someone with your talents!'

'Am I shivering or giggling?'

"I see Linda and Gay moved back from down South. I knew that wouldn't last."

'California: Here I come!'

Barber has strapped boy in barber chair with a safety belt.

"We switched over. It’s cheaper, and polls show sinners are far more miserable in a cold climate."

igloo smoking zone...

'Well it was a pretty good year.'

"I'm so sorry, I didn't realize the water balloons had already frozen..."

Explorer receiving a Valentine from a penguin.

'That's easy for you to say, you like cold weather.'

"I know exactly how you like your hair cut - it's here in your FBI file."

"So, did the doctor give you something for your runny nose?"