Cold Call Challenger Pillows

"Must resist...phone allure...of bilingual telemarketers!"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"My email is down... talk to me."

'They all want to play the star.'

"Sir, can I interest you in a luxury coffin?"

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

"You can't just put on the uniform whenever you don't want to have a conversation, Barry."

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

Call Center.

Man cold-calling on phone from igloo

Nil by text - "Don't worry, Mr. Smith, we will soon cure your addiction."

"If our heating bill goes up because of this, I'm blaming you."

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

'My elbow has a cold!'

'Why yes, I would like to buy double glazing...'

Old man learning to ice skate

I'll go first. this is so stupid. Just try it. Fine. Go first. Commencing text. Beep, No problem. I can do this. Take it. One second. Oh, no. It's coming on. Two seconds … It burns! Give me my phone. U R addict. Still, three seconds. A personal record.

Laugh, Live, Love, Loathe

'Slow Internet connection! They thought of everything!'

"Looks like mum's preparing to go on social media."

Guy with a cold that has made his nose big and red.

'You're not old enough to refuse to discuss things!'

"Faked by a snake selling rakes."

Get Your Head Out Of Your Phone

"It says, 'sorry ... I forgot you're three hours earlier out there'."

'She says I won't understand her until I've walked a mile in her shoes.'

"Oh, shush! You live by Janet Maslin, you're going to die by Janet Maslin."

'The main thing is to relax and enjoy the outdoors. Right?'

"Have you thought about retirement - with me?"

'You can add my name to that long list of people who don't understand you!'

Oh, crap! The Jehovah's Witnesses are back.

'Well, you do wonder don't you?'

"Sometimes I wish you had a little green light that would blink on and off like the computer, so I could tell whether you're processing anything or if you've just frozen up."

"Just relax!"