Cold Call Challenger Pillows

"Must resist...phone allure...of bilingual telemarketers!"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"My email is down... talk to me."

'They all want to play the star.'

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

"Sir, can I interest you in a luxury coffin?"

"You can't just put on the uniform whenever you don't want to have a conversation, Barry."

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

Call Center.

Man cold-calling on phone from igloo

Nil by text - "Don't worry, Mr. Smith, we will soon cure your addiction."

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

"If our heating bill goes up because of this, I'm blaming you."

'My elbow has a cold!'

Old man learning to ice skate

Laugh, Live, Love, Loathe

'Why yes, I would like to buy double glazing...'

'Slow Internet connection! They thought of everything!'

"Looks like mum's preparing to go on social media."

"Faked by a snake selling rakes."

'You're not old enough to refuse to discuss things!'

Guy with a cold that has made his nose big and red.

"It says, 'sorry ... I forgot you're three hours earlier out there'."

Get Your Head Out Of Your Phone

'She says I won't understand her until I've walked a mile in her shoes.'

'The main thing is to relax and enjoy the outdoors. Right?'

"Have you thought about retirement - with me?"

Oh, crap! The Jehovah's Witnesses are back.

'Well, you do wonder don't you?'

'You can add my name to that long list of people who don't understand you!'

"Oh, shush! You live by Janet Maslin, you're going to die by Janet Maslin."

"Sometimes I wish you had a little green light that would blink on and off like the computer, so I could tell whether you're processing anything or if you've just frozen up."

"Just relax!"

"If you'd like to hear the options again, curse in any language."