Cohabitation Expert Pillows

90% of annoying habits are discovered after you start living together.

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'You've changed since we got married.'

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

"Next year we put the cats outside before we hibernate."

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

"Just tell us who's winning."

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"When we agreed that you would move in, Mr. Goodrich, you didn't mention Rex."

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

"All parents fight."

"I do love you, Robin, but I'm not sure I'm ready for a full-on commitment yet."

"It says here we should get a lodger."

"Does it say 'I'm ovulating'?"

"That word-puzzle gloat of yours is getting old fast."

Trouble Ahead

"Yes, this is exactly how wars start—because of someone's insensitivity!"

"Does this dress make my butt look big?"

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"And this is my husband Dick."

I think my girlfriend is moving in.

"Ah-ha! Just in time to make my dinner!"