Cohabitation Ponderer Pillows

"As a matter of fact, yes. I do object to you moving in with my daughter... My daughter lives here!"

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

'Mom says she has a souffl

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

"Cheer up, grod, these are the good old days."

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"Next year we put the cats outside before we hibernate."

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

"Oh Adam. This is the second...sorry, I mean third happiest day of my life."

"If you were the only man in the world, and I were the only woman. . . would we still have to diet?"

"When we agreed that you would move in, Mr. Goodrich, you didn't mention Rex."

"You'll find they stay pretty needy 'til about 300 months."

Bumper Limos

'Well, great! I raise you to be a vicious bird of prey, and you wanna be a songbird!'

"Have you seen my wife?"

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

Meaningful...Meaningless relationships.

"That word-puzzle gloat of yours is getting old fast."