Partner Ponderer Pillows

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

That party went well.

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

Max Weber

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

Telling Self to Buzz Off

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

"Have you seen my wife?"

"Oh Adam. This is the second...sorry, I mean third happiest day of my life."

Meaningful...Meaningless relationships.

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

I see