Partner Ponderer Pillows

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

That party went well.

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

'At least I don't have his life.'

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

Max Weber

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

Telling Self to Buzz Off

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

Meaningful...Meaningless relationships.

"Oh Adam. This is the second...sorry, I mean third happiest day of my life."

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

"Have you seen my wife?"

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Caption Contest TK