Dating Ponderer Pillows

"Frances tells me you're a communications major."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

Max Weber

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

"If you were the only man in the world, and I were the only woman. . . would we still have to diet?"

Meaningful...Meaningless relationships.

"Have you seen my wife?"

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

"Oh Adam. This is the second...sorry, I mean third happiest day of my life."

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Caption Contest TK

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."