Cohabiting Partner Pillows

"It's god's little get-back.... She had special haloes made for those who never put down the toilet seat."

"Next year we put the cats outside before we hibernate."

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

"That word-puzzle gloat of yours is getting old fast."

"When we agreed that you would move in, Mr. Goodrich, you didn't mention Rex."

Trouble Ahead

I think my girlfriend is moving in.

LOVENUTS: 'We had just about had it,' Paula says.

"Good night. Sleep quietly."

"You go right on snoring, doesn’t bother me one bit. Your snores are beautiful, do you know that? I love snoring…not like some people."

90% of annoying habits are discovered after you start living together.

'Oh no, it's that 'come hither and do the dishes' look.'

"There's one home in this area within your price range, but it has a mouse."

"I've been thinking about what you said about three living as cheaply as two"

"Your hogging the covers again."

"Can I move in with you?"

'Either she goes, or I go.'

"I'm sick too."

Fences Make Good Neighbors.

'We were divorced, remarried, and divorced again. Now we're just living together.'

'That's the thing when you start living with someone - you discover all of their little habits.'

Frog and Toad are a little bit sick of each other.

"As a matter of fact, yes. I do object to you moving in with my daughter... My daughter lives here!"

"As far as roommates go he's fine, he just leaves deadly traps everywhere."

Shacking up Bureau

"You finished in there yet?"

'Thanks, guys, but I already have a religion.'

'Mr. Knucklepopper, I'm putting Ms. Gumsnapper next door. This way the percussion is all in one section.'