Cognitive Explorers T-Shirts

'Look, going to strip clubs just isn't a healthy coping strategy...Those women only seem interested in you and your problems because they know you're going to pay them.'

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Thinking Gears

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

The Thought Process.

X-ray Psychology.

"The overthinker"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

A Padlock and a Pet Key.

I think therefore I am.

Book store has a book called 'Mind Games,' which is floating magically in the air.

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

"...but this is the stuff of dreams Mr Whitley! Dreams."

"What are we watching? I don't know. Some show on short attention spans."

Brain Sunrise

Brain Bomb Detector

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

"I don’t know … there’s a small part of me that just wants to erase my childhood."

"This is quite a surprising discovery."

"How learning curves feel... Before: Holy hell During: I'm not gonna make it! After: That wasn't so bad! The next time: Again?!!"

"… and a big shout-out to my hippocampus, without which I wouldn’t be standing here saying words."

Good shrink, bad shrink.

'Your problems are caused by all-or- nothing thinking. It's either that, or you don't have any problems.'

"Do you think solitude drives you insane?"

A Toxic-Waste-Think-Tank With Toxic-Thoughts.

Why do I need a nap when it's only 8.15 am?