Cognitive Dissonance Explorers T-Shirts

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"The overthinker"

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"I'm learning to live with existence."

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

A Padlock and a Pet Key.

I think therefore I am.

Toilet Training

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

"Hell: The Airport"

"...but this is the stuff of dreams Mr Whitley! Dreams."

Book store has a book called 'Mind Games,' which is floating magically in the air.

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

'Sometimes, I'm like... wow! And then, I'm like... whoa! And then, I'm like... damn!'

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

Brain Bomb Detector

"What are we watching? I don't know. Some show on short attention spans."

"… and a big shout-out to my hippocampus, without which I wouldn’t be standing here saying words."

"This is quite a surprising discovery."

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

"How learning curves feel... Before: Holy hell During: I'm not gonna make it! After: That wasn't so bad! The next time: Again?!!"

'Dad's cell-phone!! I'm going to call the moon!!'

'The secret of life has been unknowable ever since we assigned it to a committee.'

Good shrink, bad shrink.