Cognitive Dissonance Analyzer T-Shirts

"Except for that wildfire destroying Pasadena, isn’t California beautiful?"

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"The overthinker"

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

See that leg? He's dreaming of chasing rabbits.

Yesterday I had an argument with the janitor of my building, and then last night I dreamed that he was chasing me with a large ball-peen hammer

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

The bluebird of passive-aggressiveness

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

Book store has a book called 'Mind Games,' which is floating magically in the air.

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

Dr. Darrin found her peer review process unnerving.

Confirmation Bias

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

Brain Bomb Detector

"What are we watching? I don't know. Some show on short attention spans."

'We now have the technology to record your dreams. From now on, your dreams are our intellectual property.'

"How learning curves feel... Before: Holy hell During: I'm not gonna make it! After: That wasn't so bad! The next time: Again?!!"

"… and a big shout-out to my hippocampus, without which I wouldn’t be standing here saying words."

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

'Your problems are caused by all-or- nothing thinking. It's either that, or you don't have any problems.'

Last night I dreamed I was lying on a beach with Sandra Dee, and a big lifeguard asked to see my beach tag. I didn

"I had that dream again where I kill my Shrink."

'Last night I dreamt in widescreen and colour, with director's commentary and added extras.'

'There are bankers under my bed.'

"Those are my medals in mental gymnastics."

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"