Cognitive Dissonance Explorers Gifts

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"The overthinker"

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I'm learning to live with existence."

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

I think therefore I am.

A Padlock and a Pet Key.

"Hell: The Airport"

Toilet Training

Book store has a book called 'Mind Games,' which is floating magically in the air.

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

"...but this is the stuff of dreams Mr Whitley! Dreams."

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

'Sometimes, I'm like... wow! And then, I'm like... whoa! And then, I'm like... damn!'

"What are we watching? I don't know. Some show on short attention spans."

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

Brain Bomb Detector

'Dad's cell-phone!! I'm going to call the moon!!'

I've realized something: It's likely that there's only one way for mankind to reach the stars in our lifetimes. Do tell. Scientists believe we'll be able to upload our minds in just 30 years. That means NASA could upload everyone's mind to a robot, and launch it into space. We wouldn't need life support. We wouldn't be affected by radiation or anything. We could even sleep for the 100 years or so it took to get to the nearest star. Then that robot could build more robots and download our minds t

"This is quite a surprising discovery."

"How learning curves feel... Before: Holy hell During: I'm not gonna make it! After: That wasn't so bad! The next time: Again?!!"

"… and a big shout-out to my hippocampus, without which I wouldn’t be standing here saying words."

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

'The secret of life has been unknowable ever since we assigned it to a committee.'