Cognitive Dissonance Explorer Gifts

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"Animal Liberation by Peter Singer"

"Mind over matter"

I just realized I'm living in a fool's paradise. This is one of the happiest days of my life!

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

Continuing education.

Paranormal A-Z...

"The overthinker"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

'My name is Jeremy and I approved this message.'

'It's not for homework. It's for traction.'

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"You know, I'm really more the 'humanities' type."

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

I think therefore I am.

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

Book store has a book called 'Mind Games,' which is floating magically in the air.

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

"This is quite a surprising discovery."

Brain Bomb Detector

End school zone. Start unschool zone.

"What are we watching? I don't know. Some show on short attention spans."

"How learning curves feel... Before: Holy hell During: I'm not gonna make it! After: That wasn't so bad! The next time: Again?!!"

I got into the college everyone wants to go to! Well played. It's the perfect fit for me! Way to go! Eco-Club. Which one is it? Dunno. Why do you care? So I don't apply there!

"… and a big shout-out to my hippocampus, without which I wouldn’t be standing here saying words."

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

'Your problems are caused by all-or- nothing thinking. It's either that, or you don't have any problems.'