Coffee Tasting Gifts

"Just remember. . . Without me, you're NOTHING!!!"

This coffee can keep you up

I'm inviting you all to taste test a new, cheaper blend of coffee. Not a chance. No way. Not even if it was squeezed from the bean by the flexed biceps of Eli Manning. I'm telling you, that dysentery last time was just a coincidence. FORGET IT!

Quadruple espresso. Sorry, Uncle Mort. I'm gonna have to cut you off. I'm old! I can drink as much as I want, whenever I want! You think I got this old without knowing what I can and can't handle? Sorry. See?! I told you I -- Zzz. A barista should always follow his instincts

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

"I believe I'll pass on the coffee."

"Would you like a cup of drip coffee while you wait for your pour over?"

Coffee Tasting Lab

"Venti, double caramel, triple cinnamon-spiced, dark chocolate, mocha latte. Your order is ready."

'No thanks; can't handle caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or number six birdshot.'

Starbucks closing 600 stores with 12,000 job cuts.

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

"I'm looking for a memorable flavor experience at a forgettable price."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Eternal Student.

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

Selling lemon latt�

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

Multi-tasking.

"Give me all the caffeine you have."