Caffeine Tasting Gifts

You've Had Enough!

Eternal Student.

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

Allegro con molto espresso

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

'Would you all please congatulate...'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

Writers without borders.

Law School teacher.

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'What's holding him up?'

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

"You're never home."

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'

'You've had enough!'

National Coffee Day

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"Call him Koffee- he keeps us awake!"

'You've had enough.'

Coffee Menu

"How about a little more coffee?"