Caffeine Critic Gifts

"Energy drinks my foot! I've drunk 10 cans a day and now I don't have enough energy to get off the couch!"

"Go ahead. It's decaf."

'It's just a polite way to say we serve real coffee, not those frappastupid, cappasissy, frothy coffee drinks.'

'Well, kids, I guess it all started with decaffeinated coffee....'

"This coffee's awful. How old is it?"

"I hear he's tough. His idea of cold brew is instant coffee and tap water."

Eternal Student.

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

You've Had Enough!

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Writers without borders.

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

'What's holding him up?'

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

'You've had enough!'

National Coffee Day

"How about a little more coffee?"

'You've had enough.'

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

Coffee Menu

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

"Well, we can tackle this now when we're exhausted from the week or wait until Monday when we're exhausted from the weekend."

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Too Much Coffee Man

Mums coffee morning

'I'm working about 85 cups of coffee a week. Why do you ask?'

'Thanks for coming out with me. I really needed a caffeine fix.'