Coffee Shop Experiences Gifts

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

You've Had Enough!

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

National Coffee Day

How About Serving Us For a Change

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"I'd say business was brisk."

Coffee Menu

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

Too Much Coffee Man

'It takes all day to eat it.'

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

Bookstore-Cafe: Used Book/Day-Old Croissants

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

'The good news is I'm down to one latte a day.'

Hipster Coffee

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

'Did I wake up feeling grumpy this morning?... No, I let him sleep!'

'The doctor says I gotta cut back on caffeine. I'd better skip the bottomless cup of coffee today, Phyllis.'

"Can you make me a tall Tazo chai latte with soy milk?" Bartleby, the soon-to-be-unemployed barista.

"Oh, great. ... My Aunt Donna is now on Facebook!"

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.