Coffee Shop Exploration Gifts

'More buzz for the buck.'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

You've Had Enough!

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

"I'd say business was brisk."

Coffee Menu

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

How About Serving Us For a Change

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

'It takes all day to eat it.'

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

Bookstore-Cafe: Used Book/Day-Old Croissants

Hipster Coffee

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

"Oh, great. ... My Aunt Donna is now on Facebook!"

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

"I'm glad you boys let me come along with you...it's nice to see how you kids live life! I mean, with youth on your side, I'm sure you live every moment to the fullest!"

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

'The doctor says I gotta cut back on caffeine. I'd better skip the bottomless cup of coffee today, Phyllis.'

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

'What are you staring at? You have free wi fi here, don't you?'

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the 'grande' size anymore without a prescription.'

"Crumble an empire on that!"

"I knew you'd like this place."