Clutter-free Champion Gifts

'What can I say? The Feng Shui in the litter box was off.'

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

"They're clean Mum, I washed them yesterday."

"We need a better piling system."

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

Cleaner with nameplate next to Consultant Surgeon's desk.

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

"I'm not just cleaning up - it's part of a conversation I'm having with Mum."

"I guess breakable things need to be more careful around me."

Anal Retentives Assoc.

'That's why I like Neederman. He does the little things to help his team that don't show up in the statistics.'

"Let me know when the floor is clean enough for me to put my feet on it again."

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.

"Always give a good, firm handshake...then immediately sanitize your hands."

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."

'Getting other people's toddler's leftovers on a highchair is one thing, but getting their toddler, too, is another.'

"We might be in trouble – the environment people have cited us as a hazardous waste site."

"Looks like you've got some competition."

Billy's clean room.

I thought we agreed, this birdbath was our little secret!

"Isn't it about time you tidied up around here...?"

"I. . . hate . . . bath day."

"Of course it is a nuisance with all this soap, but the important thing is that the germs think so too."

"The freezer is on the bottom ... stop putting away the milk upside down!"

Now wash your hands.

A woman's work is never done.

'Don't forget to wipe your feet.'

'Well he didn't get it from my side of the family'.

'You knew I was an amphibian when you married me!'

For the community garage sale...