Clumsiness Chronicler Gifts

"Here's to a clean start ..."

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'He doesn't actually drink much. He spills most of it!'

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

A polar bear has slipped and is sprawled out on the ice next to a yellow caution sign that features a slipping figure.

"I hope your cast is not itchy, Stacy. I had an itchy cast on my arm once and it itched ALL the time. It felt like crawling ants! Itchy, itchy, itchy..."

"I'm the ghost of clumsy past."

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

'I told you not to slam the door!'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"I'm here because I keep bumping into old friends. Like, literally bumping into them."

"I've got a bad feeling about this Kenneth.'

"Football concussion - one beer too many at the game, and I fell off my seat."

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

"Oh my God Ruth, it's that bull again!"

Cat in bandages and on a crutch.

'Do you still wonder why you were passed over for accounting research manager?'

"I dropped my phone and even though I picked it up within 5 seconds, the screen still cracked."

Newton's Clumsier Brother Discovers Gravity.

'You know, this is the second bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

"I kept dropping my phone and cracking the screen. So, my parents bought me a thicker cover."

Unlucky sculpture.

Painter Achieves A Few Seconds Of Flight As Ladder Falls

'How many times did I say it? Rex, I said, don't go too close to the cliff.'