Cluck Comic Gifts

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

'I didn't tell you to 'be quite Frank'. I said,'be quiet, Frank'!'

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

Not waiting for someday to look back on this and have a good laugh.

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

Hen Night

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'It's not global warming. It's 'Hot Flashes'.'

"Did I say Henny Youngmen? I meant to say Sergei Prokofiev."

'And what can you bring to the party?'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

So as you can see, sales were identical in all sectors yet again last year. Peppermint Candies, Inc.

Wall Cluck.

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Chiropractor jokes.

Keyboard in Heaven

'He's paralysed from the neck down.'

The Hen Commandments.

Children playing with scissors in the nursery

'I plucked myself. It reduces drag in the water.'

'Dang, we lost another one...maybe this whole laughter thing is a crock.'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'It doesn't work...'

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

'My credit report. Well - they said it's the lowest ever, but on the flip side I'll be in the Guinness World Record book.'

"What a traitor! It is supposed to be a well-guarded secret covered by a non-disclosure agreement..."

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"We learned about the 10 commandments, but I bet my parents will add a few of there own!"

"Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy...diminish pain and protect you from the damaging effects of stress!"