Corporate Clucker Gifts

Chicken executive: 'No one picks on me. I'm impeccable.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

Shake it all about sign on desk

"It's the new simplified tax demand from HMRC. . . Three Questions - How much did you earn last year? How much have you got left? And how soon can you send it. . .?"

'Careful, that's where the boss keeps his ego.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Brainstorm in progress.

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

Scapegoat of the Year

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

'Dear, you know how I hate it when you bring your work home.'

'How come, unlike some other bosses, you never surprise me with little promotions?'

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"Have I complimented you on marketing's renewed team spirit?"

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

'All right, Hargreaves, you've made your point clear.'

"Josh, can you call my 3:30 and let them know I'll be a little late and completely unfocused."

"So, is there any other funny business to attend to?"

Pecking order.

'It may well be nesting J.T but damn it, you've got a company to turn.'

White Collar Crime.