Corporate Clucker Pillows

Chicken executive: 'No one picks on me. I'm impeccable.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

Shake it all about sign on desk

"It's the new simplified tax demand from HMRC. . . Three Questions - How much did you earn last year? How much have you got left? And how soon can you send it. . .?"

'Careful, that's where the boss keeps his ego.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Brainstorm in progress.

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

'Dear, you know how I hate it when you bring your work home.'

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

Scapegoat of the Year

'How come, unlike some other bosses, you never surprise me with little promotions?'

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

"Have I complimented you on marketing's renewed team spirit?"

"Josh, can you call my 3:30 and let them know I'll be a little late and completely unfocused."

'It may well be nesting J.T but damn it, you've got a company to turn.'

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

Pecking order.

"I'm afraid that following the audit, Mr. Davis is no longer with us... On the bright side, the corner office is now available!"