Clucktail Author Gifts

"What a traitor! It is supposed to be a well-guarded secret covered by a non-disclosure agreement..."

A Good Batch.

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

"I forget to drink."

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

'Fancy a swift half?'

The Rind of the Ancient Mariner.

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

'It was a lot more congenial when we had happy hour.'

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

"Don't worry about the economy, dear. We'll always live large."

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

Wall Cluck.

Need Cash for Alcohol Research.

Caveman turning the wheel into a bar.

Keyboard in Heaven

Hold The Pickles

"I decided to burn all my previous napkins and start fresh."

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

'How much gin will I need for three medium size lemons?'

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that it's so hard to find decent role models these days.'

Eggnog

'Invented a new cocktail.' '

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

'If you insist on laughing please use the humour section.'

Joe's Bar - You got a problem with that?

Clay pigeon shooting

'Which came first, the chicken or the egg?'