Clucktail Author Gifts

"What a traitor! It is supposed to be a well-guarded secret covered by a non-disclosure agreement..."

A Good Batch.

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

"I forget to drink."

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

The Rind of the Ancient Mariner.

'Fancy a swift half?'

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

My friend here is being FAR too modest! He's not just ANY bartender! Karl's the guy who invented the Fuzzy Navel!'

"Don't worry about the economy, dear. We'll always live large."

'It was a lot more congenial when we had happy hour.'

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

Wall Cluck.

Need Cash for Alcohol Research.

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

Caveman turning the wheel into a bar.

Keyboard in Heaven

Hold The Pickles

The Hen Commandments.

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

"I decided to burn all my previous napkins and start fresh."

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

'How much gin will I need for three medium size lemons?'

'Invented a new cocktail.' '

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that it's so hard to find decent role models these days.'

Eggnog

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

'If you insist on laughing please use the humour section.'

'Which came first, the chicken or the egg?'

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

Joe's Bar - You got a problem with that?