Ceo Chuckler Gifts

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

'Fancy a swift half?'

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

'Because I CAN'T follow my dreams, dummy!'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Keyboard in Heaven

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that it's so hard to find decent role models these days.'

'Yes, I did receive your resume. As a matter of fact, I'm passing it around the office as we speak.'

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

"Gwen, call the employment agency back, please, we just created our first 3-D employee!"

Geez, Bob, maybe you should see a chiropractor.

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

'They've been hitting the blocking sled three times as hard since I put up that bust of that nut-job business teacher, Mrs. Sisk.'

Art Is A Snap When You Know How To Spell

'You didn't chew, did you ?!'

No caption (Nesting dolls look at a nesting casket).

"No. I blew the interview when I sniffed the interviewer's behind."

Man In Desert Hunted By Shark.

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

'Unexpected item in bagging area!'

'I'm going to have to scan, it could take a while.'

... I want you to sit in and keep prompting me not to swear.

'Forget the golf. I just got a nibble!'

'I gave at the office.'

"Blimey, who'd have thought that at this level of play a contestant would stoop to an illegal false belly."

"Are you sure you've got sufficient funds in your account to cover this cheque?"

"You're five items short. You'll have to use the express lane. This checkout is 16 items or more only."

Optimists Club. Oh goodie! Another e-mail from Nigeria!

"First the good news. You'll never have to worry about identity theft."