Cluck Commander Gifts

"Reports are that you've laid an egg everywhere we've placed you."

Clay pigeon shooting

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

'I didn't tell you to 'be quite Frank'. I said,'be quiet, Frank'!'

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

'We had to get him a seeing-eye dog.'

Not waiting for someday to look back on this and have a good laugh.

"Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken..."

Hen Night

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

"Did I say Henny Youngmen? I meant to say Sergei Prokofiev."

'It's not global warming. It's 'Hot Flashes'.'

So as you can see, sales were identical in all sectors yet again last year. Peppermint Candies, Inc.

'And what can you bring to the party?'

Wall Cluck.

Chiropractor jokes.

Keyboard in Heaven

'He's paralysed from the neck down.'

Children playing with scissors in the nursery

'Laughter is the best medicine, so read this joke book three times a day after meals.'

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

The Hen Commandments.

'I plucked myself. It reduces drag in the water.'

'Dang, we lost another one...maybe this whole laughter thing is a crock.'

"You see, if we learn to swim upside down, they won't see us coming..."

'My credit report. Well - they said it's the lowest ever, but on the flip side I'll be in the Guinness World Record book.'

How was the canoeing? Mmm � Is Twig ok? Yeah. She found a new flotation device. Oh? A cute guy across the lake.

"We learned about the 10 commandments, but I bet my parents will add a few of there own!"

"Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy...diminish pain and protect you from the damaging effects of stress!"

Cow meditating says 'Moo.'

"Honest dear, those other 39 hens don't mean a thing to me!"

'Will you knock it off. Your set wasn't that bad.'

Deer Hunting Season Ends Noon Today - 'You'd swear they know what time it is.'

Supersonic comic: 'A funny thing happened on the way here...'