Clutter Commander Gifts

"So where have you been?"

We're being innundated with the garbage phobia: 'Now that they're starting to recycle this stuff aren't you glad I didn't throw it out?'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

Rage.

"I didn't spark joy."

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

"It has come to my attention that some work-from-home employees aren't maintaining company standards."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"There, all neat and tidy!"

Fact: The average person spends 4.3 hours per week looking for things that are misplaced, misfiled or mislabeled.

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

"I discovered our home can be programmed to spit out any unnecessary clutter."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

'I've misplaced everything.'

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

"Please don't interrupt Mommy when she's in her gym slash office slash living room slash cafeteria."

The day Bob finally understood radiation of species.

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

The Move.

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

Bob’s Museum

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

"We really have to catch up on our New Yorkers."

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

'Sir, I've got a computer to avoid a giant mess but unfortunately I can't find the computer in this giant mess!'

'I agree. You should definitely increase your refresh rate!'

"We need a better piling system."