Comic_chuckles Gifts

Of course the jury sent me to prison --- The judge instructed them to "de-liberate"!

'I didn't tell you to 'be quite Frank'. I said,'be quiet, Frank'!'

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

"The subwoofers really help."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

Not waiting for someday to look back on this and have a good laugh.

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'We had to get him a seeing-eye dog.'

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

"Did I say Henny Youngmen? I meant to say Sergei Prokofiev."

'It's not global warming. It's 'Hot Flashes'.'

So as you can see, sales were identical in all sectors yet again last year. Peppermint Candies, Inc.

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

'And what can you bring to the party?'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

Chiropractor jokes.

'Laughter is the best medicine, so read this joke book three times a day after meals.'

The Hen Commandments.

'He's paralysed from the neck down.'

Children playing with scissors in the nursery

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

'Dang, we lost another one...maybe this whole laughter thing is a crock.'

"If an election were held tomorrow, which party would you vote for?" "The wine and cheese party."

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"