Clowning Botanist T-Shirts

Clown Gardening

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

Crazy old clown cat lady.

Clown's In and Out Trays.

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

Clown Watercooler

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

'What kind of bulbs did you put in here?'

"I dread these W.I. meetings

F&E Landscape Architects. Ground cover plants are the Peter Pan of landscape design. The never "grow up"!

"Keep back... I'm going to try reviving him with my hand buzzer!"

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

"The good news is you only have an allergy. The bad news is you're allergic to pollen."

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

"Eating the poinsettia didn't make him sick. It was the three pounds of potting soil."

'A remarkable specimen. It's a bonsai oak but badly affected by giantism.'

Three Circles of Gardener's Hell.

Escaping Flowers

"The scientists never stopped to ask if they should - only if they could."

A Cactus warning His friends to put their branches up while a Human passes by.

clown trophies

'I've decided to go straight!'

Venus fly trap.

BEWARE! Clown sees several pies to beware of.

"You're right- things are funnier in threes."

Talk to your plants - but never enter a suicide pact with one.

"...Father Gill would not accept that whistling could not be a substitute for water."