Cloud Conversationalist Gifts

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

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"...Ooh, I wanna know more about your dark side!"

'Read any good Apps lately?'

Woman on the phone.

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

Modern Narcissism

Communication

"Nick, are you listening or just buffering again?"

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"My main worry is my anxiety."

Cyber Fight

"Sadie, they found a planet orbiting Proxima Centauri. That makes way over 1,000 planets we've discovered in my lifetime." "It must be exciting for you, discovering there are 1,000 worlds full of people who can't possibly know what a doofus you are." "...Unless they've got telescopes." "It is exciting. Now I know how you must've felt when Oog the Caveman discovered Venus." "I see you're bringing what passes for your 'A-game' today."

"My chat bot doesn't understand me."

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

"I'm still very impressed by natural intelligence."

"Lets take this conversation off line..."

'Excuse me, could everyone be quiet, I'm trying to talk on my cellphone.'

"My computer doesn't understand me!"

Computer Dating

'Everything's heavenly! How about you?'

'Is there any way you can deliver everything to my e-mail account for now on?'

'Mum says we should talk more so I've subscribed you to my blog.'

'Oh, you're from earth. Do you know Aaron Michaelson?'

'I'm having the shrimp scampi. How about you?'

"IRL sucks."

"You're part of the NASA Space Program! Really? I've heard that lame pick-up line sooo many times..."

"The bad news is that the voices in my head have started text messaging me."

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."