Cloud Commentators Gifts

'You don't have to worry about who to vote for this year, but I'm from Chicago.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

Egguy JUMP!! 62 Eggs like this. Gr'Egg LOL. M'Egg OMG so funny!!!!! 3.

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

Collected works

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

An angel bangs a broom on a cloud

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

"I'm not unhappy, just surprised at all the other denominations that are here."

The national cartoonists' speech-bubble strike enters its 2nd week...

"It's too academic."

"Is it always so cloudy?"

Unsocial Networking.

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

"I'm starting a Kickstarter campaign to fund a rival to Kickstarter."

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

Our staff are very pleased, she's one of the brightest in her class. (What do you expect? I'm a genius!) I don't know where she gets it from...

Be sure to tell us if the school tries cyberspying again. Ok, mom. It's wrong to snap webcam pics of students. Uh-huh. They shouldn't use computers that way! Besides, it's a waste of time. They could just check the kid's facebook page, What were they thinking?

"He wasn't quite dark enough to name 'midnight' so I named him ten o'clock."

'I think it's called RED!'

"I'm getting old. . . I only got 17 hate comments!"

"We had to park your car in the cloud and, unfortunately, sir, I'm afraid it may have been deleted!"

"I'll be the superhero—you be the guy arguing about him online."

Not Proud To Be An American

"Hurry - get the family. I think he's about to communicate his final angry retweet."

Rudy, be reasonable. We can't have a functioning media if everyone starts putting up their own stories on the web. We need professional ethics. We need editing. We need fact-checking. We need

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

"What's the wi-fi like?"

"My big fat ego has just discovered Twitter!"

'Early retirement...I had pictured that differently!!!'

'Wow, when did it start letting you 'enemy' people?'