Cloth Repair Gifts

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Jack of all trades

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

Tool Box

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

A DIY disaster.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

At the suit makers

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

The world's most unemployable family

"Take my word for it, sir―it looks just great on you!"

Lazy plumber.

Bob’s Museum

Computer operator welding machine.

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"Never marry an engineer."

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."