Closet Conservative Gifts

"I just can't hide my feelings any more...for years I've buried them, been too scared of peoples reactions. I can't lie any more, people have to know the real me."

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

The Mattress Savings Bank

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

"How many capsule wardrobes is this again?"

'This closet needs digitized.'

Rishi Sunak

'And this is the walk-in clos..' - 'We'll take it!!'

We're all litigation crazy. Last week I had to sue my wife for joint custody of the closet.

"That? - oh my husband - a closet bricklayer."

Mr. Blok encounters difficulty when shopping for a hat with his wife.

'I guess you'd call it a queer request. He wants his ashes put in a fruit jar and hidden in the closet.'

"Oh, I love this! The huge walk-in closet comes with it's own master bedroom!"

"The second I turn 16 I'm joining a conservative political party and then I'll be able to do whatever I want!"

'Does it have plenty of closet space? My husband sulks a lot.'

"Harold is a closet intellectual and he's never coming out."

"Devin Nunes is a Great American."

When Atlas shrugs it off.

'You'll love this house. One floor is all closets.'

'Don't think of it as losing a daughter - think of it as gaining a closet.'

'And when I say clothes horse I mean the exercise bike.'

'Do you have that in red?'

"Should I wear my usual pants, or the same pants but newer?"

Things I should be proud of - but am not. Things I shouldn't be proud of - but am.

Minimal Chic.

'Republican Valentines' They really love the word 'NO!'