Closet Capitalist Gifts

The Mattress Savings Bank

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

Shoe addict.

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

'Does it bother you that we have all the money?'

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

Hat Boxes, in the Closet

"It would appear they worshipped the almighty dollar."

'I'm in for burglarizing a store, but I got a reduced sentence because I only stole sale items.'

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

A woman and her home simultaneously achieve 'casual'.

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

"The most important thing isn't money - it's love. Luckily I love money!"

"How many capsule wardrobes is this again?"

'This closet needs digitized.'

'And this is the walk-in clos..' - 'We'll take it!!'

"Johnson's selling ad space in the tunnel of light."

We're all litigation crazy. Last week I had to sue my wife for joint custody of the closet.

"That? - oh my husband - a closet bricklayer."

"Oh, I love this! The huge walk-in closet comes with it's own master bedroom!"

'I guess you'd call it a queer request. He wants his ashes put in a fruit jar and hidden in the closet.'

'I used to be a 'nut', but since I made millions in the market, I'm a 'contrarian'.'

"Harold is a closet intellectual and he's never coming out."

'Does it have plenty of closet space? My husband sulks a lot.'

"What do you think of the new window display?" "It's the first time we've ever shown a prophet."

"You really need to get rid of these clothes if you want to stop being mistaken for a historical re-enactor."

'Do you like my new dress dear?' (Price reads - An arm and a leg)