Closet Maximalist Gifts

Minimal Chic.

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

'Inside Ralph is a comedienne crying to get out.'

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

The Mattress Savings Bank

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

"How many capsule wardrobes is this again?"

'This closet needs digitized.'

"Trust me, you won't miss the air when you see this closet space."

'And this is the walk-in clos..' - 'We'll take it!!'

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

"What is it about an unfavorable soccer outcome that makes me want to wreak immediate havoc in the streets?"

"That? - oh my husband - a closet bricklayer."

We're all litigation crazy. Last week I had to sue my wife for joint custody of the closet.

"I'm looking for something with more closet space."

'I guess you'd call it a queer request. He wants his ashes put in a fruit jar and hidden in the closet.'

"Oh, I love this! The huge walk-in closet comes with it's own master bedroom!"

'Does it have plenty of closet space? My husband sulks a lot.'

"Harold is a closet intellectual and he's never coming out."

'You'll love this house. One floor is all closets.'

"Should I wear my usual pants, or the same pants but newer?"

'Do you have that in red?'

'And when I say clothes horse I mean the exercise bike.'

'Don't think of it as losing a daughter - think of it as gaining a closet.'

"I just can't hide my feelings any more...for years I've buried them, been too scared of peoples reactions. I can't lie any more, people have to know the real me."

Things I should be proud of - but am not. Things I shouldn't be proud of - but am.

"Do I wear my team colors, my gang colors, my school colors, my city colors..."

"I just have this unmistakeable urge to come out."

'What are my priorities? Take this huge closet and build a house around it!'